Coffee

Ride 10 of 100

Wet wet ride home, cold calfs and cheeks and ears, drive train grinding itself into rust, brake pads screaming at chain reaction "get some more, get some more now", an hour and thirty minutes later and home.

Park bike in kitchen, wait for entirely reasonable "how do you expect me to cook around that" comment later that night

Scrape off waterproofs, empty boots of muddy water, put helmet on top of boiler.

Wince up the stairs, start bath, get undressed (remember to bring hoover up before she gets home) get into bath and wait for chillblains in legs.

Twenty minutes later, put coffee on stove and spy unopened packet of toffee muffins.

You can guess the rest.