Thursday, 31 December 2009

a heron and two shovellers

Ride 15 0f 100

First ride for over a week now, the sun was out and "most" of the sheet ice now gone, a late start meant that the sun was already warming the world, there was a brisk breeze in the air, very few people about, a few runners, the trails mostly rideable but wherever the trail was in shadow there was a menacing sheet of glassy ice. I managed to mince along the edge of most of them, only taking one tumble.

My mind was occupied by the thought that I was riding to somewhere with a purpose in mind rather than just riding for the pleasure of riding, I was meeting some friends who I hadn't seen for over a year, and we were meeting in a pub, for beer and food.

The route took in CS woods, and thankfully there was no CS action around this lovely morning, its as flat as a witches tit around here but the tight twistyness makes up for that, and wide bars add to the fun.

The pub was ace, the people were ace and now I'm home and bathed in both the literal and metaphorical sense, looking forward to tomorrow's ride.

Sunday, 20 December 2009

Shortest ride ever

Ride 14 of 100

heavy snowfall on top of freezing rain, it was pretty bloody obvious really

200 yards in, right turn, bang, off, right knee and elbow

700 yards in, slight incline to the left, bang, off, left knee and elbow

1 mile, dog walker, bang, down, took a while to get up, trying to conceal my laughter

1.1 mile, straight line, frozen puddle, front wheel fine, back wheel popped through the ice and slid out, right knee and hip

time to play the card, slowly pedaling home, watched in amazement as a car slid straight into the back of a parked car, couldn't, didn't dare stop

home, safe, slipped on the pavement, inside, wet, sore and laughing.

Friday, 18 December 2009

Ridiculous to the sublime

Ride 13 of 100

After last nights blizzard I awoke with eager anticipation of crisp virgin snow trails, I was not dissapointed, hardly any people tracks, a few fox tracks and the clearest sky ever, deep royal blue, complete with shooting stars and planets.

An hour in and my light disturbed a starling roost, must have been a few thousand of them, enough to make me stop and stare, on and under the canal, passing by a red mondeo with the engine running and all steamed up, I instantly had a flash back to the hanging man but was pleased to see it was a couple of (very) early morning doggers !.

By now the sky was lightening up and work and a hot shower beckoned, coffee and porridge, ready for another day at the office.

Thursday, 17 December 2009


Ride 12 of 100.

Met check I take it all back.

Set off from work at 4.15, not hopeful of anything other than a short ride home, got to the turning point and I could see the snow rolling in over the hills, left turn and almost instantly into a white out, yes a real bona fide white out, in Cheshire, at sea level, a white out to rival any I've ever had on Ben Nevis or Snowdon.

I had to stop once I got to the river, laughing at the absurdity of this, I couldn't see where the trail was and the river wasn't.

The music had to go, I was disoriented enough already, got to the motorway bridge and decided to stop and sit it out, yes thats "sit it out" in Cheshire, at sea level, you've every right to disbelieve me but it was truly astonishing.

Got going again soon and apart from the joy of riding in virgin snow there was nothing to report.


No Snow

Ride 11 of 100

Met check you failed me once again.

I hate you.

and I hate the bivviers for going without me (despite the fact I couldn't go) and then teasing me with fabulous pictures.

The long way to work, didn't see a soul, The The on the headphones.

There before I knew it and not a single profundity to share.


Ride 10 of 100

Wet wet ride home, cold calfs and cheeks and ears, drive train grinding itself into rust, brake pads screaming at chain reaction "get some more, get some more now", an hour and thirty minutes later and home.

Park bike in kitchen, wait for entirely reasonable "how do you expect me to cook around that" comment later that night

Scrape off waterproofs, empty boots of muddy water, put helmet on top of boiler.

Wince up the stairs, start bath, get undressed (remember to bring hoover up before she gets home) get into bath and wait for chillblains in legs.

Twenty minutes later, put coffee on stove and spy unopened packet of toffee muffins.

You can guess the rest.

Monday, 14 December 2009

Bats and Dalmations

Ride 9 of 100

Cold wet sleet tonight, would have been soooo easy to turn right and head and home, but I was as cold as I was going to get and was enjoying the spinning of my legs, so left turn at the lights and onto the mud.

My headlight was picking out the bats flying to my right but didn't pick out the Dalmation that came looming from the left, almost ran him over, no sign of the owner but then it was pitch black.

Fleet Foxes on repeat in my head, no thoughts of any great significance tonight, peace.

Saturday, 12 December 2009

23mm tyres are fast

Ride 8 of 100

Managed to pull a calf muscle walking down stairs this morning, so that put paid to any ideas of an off road ride at Macc Forest, plan B, get the Kona out and do a road ride, hour and a half and 24 miles later and the sunlight has worked its magic, no more pain in calf, head empty, ready for tonights revelleries.

Friday, 11 December 2009

Not Clear Skies

Ride 7 of 100

Fog came down

Temperature dropped

Heart sank

Rode home

Clear skies

Ride 6 of 100

cold cold morning commute

clear purple sky

moon in heaven

shame I'm on my way to work

Thursday, 10 December 2009

Pretty Vacant

Ride 5 of 100

I needed to ride, a promised ride with a good friend had to be cancelled much to mine and hers annoyance, my reputation for playing the Makin card remains intact much to my shame.

Anyway, stuff got sorted and I got out the door with enough daylight left to give me some much needed UV, the trails were heavy with drying mud, hard work to keep on top of the gear.

Didn't see a single soul for the first hour, which was odd but nice, "This is Religion" pumping away in my head, kick started a mental list of all the songs John Lydon had ever written, must have been another hour or so before I stopped for a breather and a drink, sitting back and feeling the rays on my face and then nothing (turned itself inside out).

Probably only a handful of seconds but enough to release the white noise in my ears, turned for home, happy.

Burning conscience

Ride 4 of 100

Woke up at 2am with the sudden realisation that I'd dropped an almighty bollock at work, it was recoverable if I got there before 8 so reset the alarm for 6, also sent my self an email to make sure I wasn't dreaming, of course the alarm went off and after a fitfull night I immediately fell into a deep sleep coma.

Awake awake again at 7, and then rushing to get to work, went the shortest route, my legs were burning as much as my conscience and my embarrasment, no incidents, nothing of any consequence at all, got there in time, sorted it out and sat back for a whole ten minutes before I noticed my seat was a good 4 inches lower than it should have been, that'll explain the burning thighs then.

Wednesday, 9 December 2009

Magpies in the gloom

Ride 3 of 100

Homeward commute, lots of Magpies around, couldn't for the life of me remember the rhyme, but I did remember Susan Stranks, trails drier again than this morning, we'll have a drought at this rate, nothing of note happened on this ride but why oh why is my seatpost slipping down on my custom built £3000 bike ?

Pink Skies

Ride 2 of 100

Out good and early this morning, trails still wet but noticeably drying out now after the floods, cross the motorway and notice the growling is already there, another hour and it'll be at full volume, spinning along and notice my legs feel fine, maybe yesteerdays ride flushed them out ?.

Dogs and their owners start looming out of the gloom, why on earth would you walk around in the dark with a dog ? oh hang on, er, hmmm...

random thought of the ride, why is the sky pink ? actually I know why but I amused myself for the next few seconds with some fancy sexual ideas on why the sky is pink, riding on your own in the dark creates a strange isolated world where such things can exist.

Tuesday, 8 December 2009

Beware Greeks opening car doors

Ride 1 of 100

an hour, along the river trail, wet, muddy, rainy, dark and fun, apart from almost getting car doored within the first mile, random song in my head, song from under the floorboards, home, bath, cooking and cold beer